Life Lesson #2: Friendships

Greetings all! First off, let me say thank you to those of you who take the to actually come and read these things-a special thank to those who leave comments and feedback.So... friendship! I could start this blog off with a webster's dictionary definition of the word but I think I will refrain from doing so. When you think about friendship, what do you think? Is it having someone that you can talk to? Depend on? Relate to? Spend time with? Whatever it is that you think about one thing that I have learned is that a friendship involves @ least 2 beings. For the sake of this blog, I shall define friendship as "the relationship held between two beings that have a higher level of affinity and rapport between them than that which is associated with colleagues or strangers". (I know that is a bit wordy but just work with me) Friends, in my life anyway, are the people who relate to you, confide in you, spend time with you and the pleasures formentioned are reciprocated. There is one thing about friendship that I have found to be true that I don't think can be found in the dictionary (this is the heart of this blog) is:TRUE FRIENDSHIP CAN NOT EVER EXIST ONLY ON THE TERMS OF ONE OF THE PARTIES INVOLVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!When it starts to do so, it is no longer a friendship but instead becomes a manipulated relationship!!! This means that IF someone is truly your friend (key word being truly) then you can't just cut them off because they upset you. You can't just decide that this 1 thing took place that I didn't like so I need to treat them like I would treat any common colleague or stranger. That's not friendship. NOTE: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT REMAINING IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!! I believe that you can assess your relationships and tell whether or not they are unhealthy or draining. The ones that we do find to be unhealthy, we should make the proper adjustments.

BUT, the ones where we know and recognize that the good outweighs the bad, that are with people that are tried and true friends, those are the ones we should cherish and strive to strengthen and grow. Maybe part of the problem is that we don't recognize just how valuable and uncommon True friends are. I for one am very cautious about who I refer to as a friend! The reason for this is because I know that everyone is not meant to be my and your friend. I also recognize that true friendship requires vulnerability and we all know that's never been the easy thing to do (making yourself vulnerable that is...). But we do it anyway because of the confidence that we have in our friends and the trust that we have built in them. That's part of what being a friend is. It also involves being Truthful about happenstances and other things. We have to be willing to talk through rough spots and unpleasant things. I don't wish to rant on ad on about this but I will say this- Recognize friendship for the precious commodity that it is and treat your friends as such. Value them, appreciate them, and throw out the notion that because something happens that you don't agree with or that is not on your terms that you have the right and privelige to dismiss them. If you are going be friends BE FRIENDS! Talk through issues. How do you think the relationship gets strengthened?!? That is all, good day... I SAID GOODDAY!!!